Big Boy Bed

The other day I was flipping channels and saw a conversation on a reality show about adjusting to a new dog in the house. A dog trainer was telling the family to make sure the dog is not allowed in bed with "Mom" because then it will not obey "Mom" thinking it has equal status in the house. A family friend was there and said, "Yeah, he's right, it's like kids, you never want to let them start sleeping with you b/c they'll never leave."

That snippet of conversation was interesting to me because in the last month Douwe has made a transition to his own bed and bedroom after almost three years of exclusively sharing our bed. I can't say for sure (I was asleep) but I think that he has never slept all the way through the night more than a few times in his life, but that becomes a non-issue because I have never really been fully awakened in the night by him. Nighttime nursing/comforting/parenting can be done while sleeping. It has been one of the easiest times and ways to be an available mom!

We have had his cute toddler bed ready for almost a year and we've been talking it up for when he was ready and pointing out any peers(real or television/book characters) who are situated in a big kid bed. One day in June I rearranged his room a bit and set some bedside tables up and a little lamp and books by his bed and he thought it looked so cozy. He asked a few times to be tucked in there, and then he just started sleeping there. He'll sleep without waking up now on most of the nights, and occasionally he'll wake up once and call for me, so now for the first time in his life, I am waking up for a child at nighttime. I'll go in and reassure him that he can come and snuggle in my bed when he sees daylight, and I'm glad that he can learn to be alone for long durations at an age when he can think to himself
"Mom and Dad are not visible, but they are very close in the next room, and daylight will soon come, so I can be ok alone in the dark."

When I went for the co-sleeping option from the beginning, it felt like a bit of a risk, b/c I didn't know what would eventually happen during the transition to his own bed someday. A kid won't beg and cry for a benefit they never knew they could receive in the first place! But I'm glad to see that Douwe, with our encouragement and respect for his readiness, has made that step toward independence on his own, so that going to sleep is not a fear-connected time, but a time for him to recognize that he is becoming such a big boy and can be proud of his new achievement. I'm happy to know now from experience that it is possible to co-sleep for mutual convenience during the early years when a baby physically needs nighttime comfort or feeding and Mom needs lots of rest, but then nudge them just a little more out of the inner sanctums of the family nest when they are old enough to handle nighttime independence without distressing crying spells, or escape attempts, or attachment to a security object to substitute for the Mommy who isn't available when it is dark.

I have always really enjoyed co-sleeping, but it is nice to see the cute bedroom and little bed being put to more use, and I have to admit it is nice to sprawl out a little more as I sleep on my side of the bed!