Day 7: Is there Anyone Else?

Three of my favorite delay of recognition stories each include the same question, a question which confronts a family with their refusal to recognize the most significant member of their household.

Cinderella, classic fairy tale
Joseph and his brothers (the first trip to Egypt), Genesis 42:1-43:7
Samuel visits the house of Jesse to anoint a King, I Samuel 16

I think that considering the three stories together, even though they have differences, enriches all of them, especially if one imagines how each group of siblings would answer the following questions:

1. Have we excluded that sibling because we know deep down that he/she is special?
2. Have we purposely tried to prevent her/him from being noticed and honored.
3. Do we believe that one of us can possess the role that was meant for him/her?
4. What does it feel like to recognize that we are now overlooked, because we ourselves overlooked him/her?

Cinderella's step-sisters take turns at trying on the shoe, and David's brothers all step forward for examination by Samuel, and Benjamin's brothers attempt to present themselves at the Egyptian court as an intact set of siblings.

Cinderella "happens" to be somewhere else doing chores, David "happened" to miss the line-up, and Benjamin "happened" to not travel to Egypt with his brothers.

And then the question comes, "Is there someone else in your family?" Well yes, but it is just shabby Cinderella. Of course, but it is our baby brother David, and he must tend the sheep, you know. Well there is our youngest brother Benjamin, but he is needed by his father.

Those of us who know these stories well can recognize that the siblings and parents are foolish for trying to interfere with the story's progression by omitting one of their siblings in a gathering that is so important. Cinderella will offer her foot for a perfect fit, David will be crowned, and Benjamin will be an honored guest at Joseph's banquet.

I love it that the arch-duke of the kingdom, and Samuel the high priest, and Joseph in disguise have such perfect timing in getting around to asking the one question that forces the family system to admit a major dysfunction when it comes to how the siblings and parents determine status, significance, responsibility and honor among household members. When a household loves assigning labels like "favorite" and "reject", "leader" and "follower", their story just might not be finished until they all have experienced the distress that comes when an influential outsider mixes those labels all up.