Day 12: Too good to be true?

You may have noticed by now that many of my favorite stories fall in the genre of comedy and romance. These genres are popular with the masses, but generally get less highbrow respect compared to "drama" or "realism" because real life as we (who aren't in denial) know it doesn't regularly include fairy tale endings such as the mystery getting solved, or lovers overcoming all their obstacles and misunderstandings to stare into each other's eyes forever. Real life just doesn't have that perfect weave of timing and main characters so that it all comes together amazingly well with loose ends tied up and all. These stories are just too good to be true. So some might say that these stories are enjoyable but slightly irresponsible escapes from reality, to be saved for poolside reading, or sort of like a dessert genre which is healthy only in small amounts and only after a nutritious meal of something more substantial like geo-political history or world news or religious commentary. Some might say, as I sometimes do to myself, "Come on lady, those stories are understandable for the pre-teen years when you are imagining the possibilities of your first tingly experience of reciprocated romantic affection, but a married woman enjoying that stuff? That's just sad. Get in the real world."

Sleepless in Seattle celebrates the romantic comedy by being one and by developing its plot as a nod to an all-time romantic film favorite: An Affair to Remember. There is a funny scene when Suzy (Rita Wilson) talks about the movie and how good it is and she starts sniffling and crying just to think about how wonderful it was when Cary Grant finally recognizes the truth about why his lover ditched him. Her brother Sam (Tom Hanks) mocks her sentimentality and says "that must be a chick movie". Then he and his brother-in-law make fun of her by recounting their favorite scenes in The Dirty Dozen with sniffles and sobs.

Why are women of all ages the main target audience of swashbuckling period love stories and romantic comedies? Because women are the sentimental gender and will always swoon with longing over a love story, even if they are a satisfied Mrs.? Why do ballrooms and proms and royal court costumes get marketed to the ladies, and war trenches and street crimes get marketed to the men? Do we collectively assume that men are more adjusted to the violent real world while women need their escape into lovey-dovey courtly fantasy? Why is there such a label as a "chick flick", and an assumption that the only non-chicks in audience are accompanying a chick in anticipation of scoring with said chick afterwards? Because men are considered to be pansies if they are moved by the emotions that rise up during moments of dramatic recognition? Are women satisfied with the warm fuzzy feeling of love and affection and locking eyes and hands and lips, and prefer experiencing sex vicariously through a book or movie where copulation can be all about golden orbs and turgid shafts and dewy flower petals, rather than the humping moistness of semen stains or stray pubes? Are the men wishing the characters would just have sex already, what is with the delay, and the dressing up, and the catching each other's eye during the dancing, and the love triangles, and the quarrels and misunderstandings, and tears and after all that, just a chaste kiss with violin music swelling, then right to credits?

I don't think it is helpful to anyone if the comedic love story gets put in the corner as a B-grade ladies-only genre. And I don't say that just because I'm a woman. As a participant in the Christian faith, I look forward with a significant level of longing to resurrection from the dead (a comic turning point to a tragic plot progression), a reconciliation of blind and clueless humans with their Creator (true love recognized at last), and a well-timed revealing of the true state of affairs about everything which has been long and deeply hidden (mystery and misunderstandings completely resolved). I have been learning to view the Bible as a collection of writings that describe a cosmic love story and anticipate its further unfolding as a comedy rather than tragedy, even though things look quite grim at every phase that could be called The Present Time. The Bible even sometimes names its main dramatic characters as if it were all about telling a fairy-tale romance: King-Bridegroom and a Queen-Bride. I think that my own Christian community suffers from ignoring this irony: the public announcing of the greatest story---An I'd-move-heaven-and-earth kind of Love that God has for his beloved people---is a task that has historically been limited to the gender which is (at least currently) conditioned by the broader culture to scoff at or keep a distance from the "too good to be true" unfolding of events in a comedy, romance, or fairy tale. Can the Bride of Christ fully mature in her identity if her public voice and story-telling perspective is overwhelmingly male? Will the Christian church be equipped to recognize the arrival of her Bridegroom if her leaders view the secular romance or comedy story as irrelevant or irreverent for use in Christian religious instruction, especially when it comes to eschatology?

I think if we reduce romance and comedy to an idealized ritual of sexual foreplay, we are missing the big picture of the real world. I think if we assume that mystery is just a crime drama plot of apprehending the "perps," we are missing the big picture of the real world. I think if the phrase "too good to be true" is regularly part of our vocabulary, and if we think we stay more attuned with the real world by watching the 10 o'clock newscast each day rather than listening to a daily fairy tale that nourishes our longing for an Ever After state of things, then we are scoffing at a most singular Christian hope in a future kingdom that is quite nearly arrived, but for the universal recognition and esteem of its monarch.